I'm very, very tired right now, but happy. I got to play indoor soccer on Saturday night. I was very tired on Saturday and didn't feel like going. But, with indoor, I know I can always play for just a few minutes then sit out the rest of the game. Once I got there I felt great and I played for quite a bit. I think my adrenalin gets going and allows me the strength to play. Afterwards I was tired and sore, but happy. Today (Sunday) I was hoping to sleep in, but got woken up at 6:00 am for my Mother's Day Breakfast In Bed. It began with my sweet daughter delivering milk and a sandwich to me in bed, but spilling the milk all over the bed and night stand, then my other sweet daughter entering and the two getting into a fight over what I was supposed to be having for breakfast. I sent them both away with strict orders not to return until at least 8:00. They came back with more food (yogurt and ice cream, french toast, a sandwich cut in the shape of an "M", a cheese and turkey quesadilla, and home made lemonade) and a bag full of gifts- some that they made at school and some that they bought. It was all very, very sweet and I just LOVE the ages that they're at right now- young enough to still do sweet things for mother's day and old enough to be able to be independent enough to plan the sweet things all on their own. Afterwards they let me go back to sleep and I slept till 10:00. I had the hardest time getting up this morning- I was very tired and fatigued feeling. I got up and went to a drive through place for a coffee as my treat to myself. Just as I went to get my money out of my wallet another chemo casualty struck- I lost my thumb nail. I could feel the tears starting, but then the coffee guy told me that the drink was free today for all mothers. Hard to stay sad after getting a free coffee! Yes, I take great joy in small pleasures these days. We went to Mt. Pisgah for the afternoon and again I was so tired and sore that we did a slow walk on the flat part rather than a hike up the mountain. It was so beautiful there today- warm weather and amazing wild flowers all over. We spent a lot of time at the river just soaking in the beauty of the place.
I'm feeling some stress right now about the upcoming week. It's a full, busy week of work and I'm not rested after the weekend. I'm tired and wishing for a few more days rest. My breast started hurting last week, a side effect of the radiation. It is starting to hurt when I run, and it wakes me at night sometimes. I'm thinking of switching to roller blading and leaving running till after radiation. Actually, what I'm really thinking is instead of exercising after radiation, I would love to just lay out a blanket next to the river and sleep for a few hours. Right now I feel like just sleeping for a week.
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