Friday, May 1, 2009

4 down, 29 more

5/1/09

I got the stomach thing.  Drat!  Just when I was feeling better too.  It's so nice, though, because this just feels like a regular sickness, nothing like chemo sickness.  I had a couple of interesting insights today.  I got to radiation early and went for a short walk.  I walked past a fertility clinic, which is next door.  I had a sudden wave of gratitude for the two good ovaries that served me well when I needed them to.  I got two amazing, beautiful kids out of them with no trouble at all.  I felt so blessed and lucky to have had my children before I lost my ovaries.  The sadness I've felt at having them gone left me on my walk.

Inside, I heard a woman on her cell phone in the waiting room.  She was talking to someone about wanting to have a celebration that night because she had just finished her 5 year check up and didn't have to take her arimidex any more.  It occurred to me that I won't have to take it for my whole life, and that in 5 years I'll be the one having a celebration.  So, whoever wants to come, put it on your calendar for Apr 27, 20014 to come celebrate with me!

And finally, I was feeling bad for once again having to go into a place with so many, many elderly people.  I haven't seen anyone anywhere close to my age in the cancer center.  I've been thinking for a while now how unfair it is that I got cancer at my age.  In the waiting area I spoke with an older woman there for treatment too.  I realized while speaking to her that her life is just as precious to her as my life is to me.  It doesn't matter how old a person is, cancer SUCKS at any age, and life is precious at any age.  It left me feeling like maybe in a way I'm lucky.  I will have more time to experience the new, deep appreciation I have for life.  


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