Thursday, January 1, 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

January First, 2009!

What a great first day of the year! I FEEL GREAT TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I haven't felt this good since this all began. I was able to eat today, very yummy, healthy foods. I did not need a nap today. My arm felt way, way better today and I had significantly increased range of motion. I had NO nausea medicine today. I had NO medication of any kind today! Not even tylenol! I feel tired and good enough that I'm going to attempt sleep without a sleeping pill!

Ok, ok, enough of the exclamation marks. Part of me wants to just sit back and bask in the glory of well being and be totally grateful and that's enough. But, the other part of me needs to analyze it so I can come back and re-create it later if need be. So, here goes:

Yesterday was a low for me. I've been feeling so terribly uncomfortable in my body that I can't be in one position for very long. My couch totally sucks and I haven't been able to sit on it. It's the only piece of furniture I have, so I've just been spending lot's of time in my bed, which is very comfortable. As I type this, I'm sitting ON MY COUCH! So, as I wrote before, I did the acupuncture/reiki yesterday. The acupuncturist also put an acacia seed in my ear, held in place by a tiny bandage looking thing, and left it there. It's still there. It's either for nausea or insomnia, or maybe something else, I can't remember. But, for some reason, I think it's a big part of how I feel today. The acupuncture went much better this time, although I was uncomfortable on the table, from being in one position for so long. Last night, I was so tired of my arm hurting that I got on my knees and prayed to God for some relief. I was taught by a wise woman that physically being on my knees is an important part of this type of prayer. I also put in another prayer request for myself, specifically about my arm and feeling good during chemo. I put some arnica gel all over my arm. I was still pretty agitated last night, so I took a sleeping pill and slept sort of ok. Karina woke us all up after midnight to yell "Happy New Year" and have a grapefruit juice toast. In the morning, I woke up to the sound of wind and rain. I opened my window wide and shifted around in my bed so I could see a huge pine tree out my back window. I watched it for about an hour and it was dancing in the wind and I could hear the swishing sound of its branches. It was indescribably beautiful. At my last mind/body class, we meditated on a beautiful place, and I put myself in my hammock in my backyard, with a view of this tree. So this morning was almost like living my meditation. As I was laying on the bed, I stretched both arms up over my head. BOTH ARMS! The right arm didn't go all the way up, but it went way, way farther than it has before. I discovered that I could do some stretching exercises on the bed with the mattress bearing the weight of my arm. I got up and slowly as the day went on, I felt better and better.

One of my wise women friends came by and brought me the most delicious salad for lunch. It was the first time in a while that food tasted really, really good to me. I had enough energy to go shopping with her and we got some cast iron pans and a crock pot and a new blender (the cats, or kids? broke my old one). I've been advised to use only cast iron or stainless steel to cook in, so I got rid of my old frying pans. I've also been advised to increase my iron with beef, leafy greens, and blackstrap molasses. My friend dropped me at home and went to the store and bought all the ingredients for me to make a beef stew in the crock pot tomorrow. She also cooked up a whole batch of red chard. I can't stand cooked leafy greens, so I only let her cook them up to be polite, and a bit out of curiosity because she said they'd taste good. The smell was so good, not like what I'm used to cooked greens smelling like. I ate some and they were GREAT! I ended up having a small bowl full. She also made the most amazing drink. In a jar she mixed fresh grated ginger, molasses, and honey. I put a spoonful in a cup and added hot water to make a tea. It is SO GOOD and seems to help the nausea. We talked about how in past times, if a person in a community got sick, everyone else just pitched in what they knew to do to help the person get well. I am so very fortunate that this is what is happening for me here in my community. I am well aware that it is unique and special.

Another wise woman came by later and brought an amazing tea that she made herself of different herbs. She told me what they were, and what they were for, but I can't recall. I do know that when I drank it, my mouth felt vibrant and alive and kind of zingy. I had a few more cups throughout the day. She also did some reiki with me and spent the afternoon talking and she is such a healing, calm presence that I felt great after she left. A third wise woman came by with the best southern food ever- black-eyed peas, home made corn bread, and ham. Delicious! Maybe a part of my healing is just being in the presence of wise, nurturing women.

The girls had a play date bowling today and were so happy and carefree when they got home. I felt good enough to sit up in a chair and eat with them and even read to them. We're reading a great fairy book at the moment. Then, they're favorite babysitter came and I got to go out on a real date with F! We had an amazing dinner at a Wok restaurant and I ate beef for the first time in a long time. Once I started eating it, I realized that I was craving it. I remembered that when I was pregnant, I craved red meat too. After dinner we went for a walk in the rain and got freezing cold. Then we jumped into the hot tubs at Onsen's and the same magic happened as before. I was instantly immersed in healing warmth and my arm felt so great. It was windy and we could see tall trees blowing above us and feel the cold rain falling down. F gave me the nicest massage and I realized that my whole right side has been all crunched up and tight and contorted for the past month or so. The massage was heavenly and I was feeling so good and we ended up just laughing and laughing for an hour. I smiled so much that my face is almost as sore as my arm is from all this typing! I get it about laughter and humor being a good healing medicine.

Once the girls were in bed for the evening, I had a root beer float and it just topped off the evening. My arm is now really sore, and I don't want to push it too much after today, so that's all for now. I go in tomorrow for another shot (I did not need one today since my white blood cells were plenty high enough- yeah!) The nurses have encouraged me to bring the girls in so they can meet them and so the girls can get to know them a bit, so we will do that together and hopefully I'll be having another great day and we'll get to have a fun day together!

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