Moon Miracle

1/10/09

I think I'm past the ick. I hope I hope. I'm not out of bed yet, but I woke up a few hours ago and felt compelled to look out my window. The full moon was shining through some clouds, right into my window. It was like a sunset in reverse. Amazingly lovely. It felt like God was peeking in my window while I slept, smoothing the worry and discomfort away with a giant, loving hand. I got up and had a yogurt, and it tasted good. No big discomforts as of right now.

I had another session of acupuncture yesterday, and I understand it takes till the next day to feel the effects. I'm having Reiki done this morning, and I'm going to be staying at a cute little farm cottage just outside of town. I meant to stay last night, but didn't have the energy to get there. I feel bad about missing out on a night, but I think it was important that I stay here last night till I was feeling better. D stayed the night and kept me company and fed me a protein shake. F stopped by and just held me and talked to me for awhile.

I had a good cry last night. For my hair, for me, for this whole mess. I am scared about taking care of the girls on my chemo weeks. I think I learned this week that it would be better for them to have a sleep over on day two and maybe three after the chemo. They were gone last night and it was so much easier just having myself to focus on. I'll have to arrange it next time. It means asking for more help, but its what I need. I think I also need someone here to keep me company and to help make sure I eat something. Its hard and sad to be alone when I'm feeling so bad. Last night I kept trying to eat, but making my own food was grossing me out. I did get a few bites, but it was much easier with D here to help and to sit with me while I drank the shake.

I'll get the last shot this morning. I'm hoping there won't be any bad affects. Its a beautiful, amazing morning right now. I'd like to get up and participate in it.