Up and Down and Up and Down and....

1/25/09

And so it goes. I woke up not quite sure if I was feeling ok enough for a game of soccer. But, I really wanted to go, so I ate some breakfast, drove to D's house where she gave me the last of 4 shots for the week, then on to my soccer game. I felt marginally ok going in, but the smells really got to me. The bathroom smelled of pine cleaner and the rest of the place smelled like hot, dirty sneakers. Gross, gross, gross. Once I was on the field playing, though, I didn't notice anything but how good it felt to be out there. I got two shots at the goal! Ah, it felt so good. I could play for about 5 minutes, then I subbed out. During the second half I started to get motion sickness. I thought about leaving, but really didn't want to. I stayed for the whole game and felt that after soccer rush for most of the day.

I had the opportunity, with both kids hanging out with friends, to meet F for lunch at the Keystone Cafe. It was SO NICE to get out of the house and I was starving by the time I got there. I've not been wearing the wig since Wed, so I decided to keep it off and I went out in the buff (my green head scarf looking thing). I put on some pretty earrings and some make-up and it wasn't so bad. The food tasted so good, but I got full pretty fast. I went to the grocery store afterwards and I was feeling so good that I just decided to meet people's stares with a smile. Everyone smiled back! I think, really, that people are just curious. It's not such a big deal after all.

I took Karina to her basketball game tonight and again it was hard being in a gym. The noise really got to me, and of course those lovely smells again. But, there was no way I was going to miss it. She was so beautiful to watch. At home, I got the girls dinner and as I was getting it together, I started to feel really sick. I got it all together for them, but had to go lay down on the couch while they ate. I ended up taking the anti-nausea medicine, figuring it was late enough at night and I wasn't doing any more driving, so it didn't matter if I got groggy. I had to throw my dinner out, but I did have a bit of soup and that is settling all right for now.

My big concern right now is my cough. Every time I try to talk, I end up coughing. I googled "chemo cough" to see what is going on. Big mistake. I know better than to google, but sometimes I forget. It said all sorts of horrible things relating to chemo and coughing. The doc wasn't too concerned last time, so I guess I'll just mention it again on Wed. Boy, those lists of side effects are so scary- it's a wonder anyone ever decides to get chemo! The most gruesome one I've read yet is having one's finger nails fall off- I just picture interrogators ripping prisoners' finger nails off. There goes my over active imagination again. God, please let me keep my finger nails!