Thursday, January 15, 2009

Up and Down and Sick?


Another emotional up and down day. Last night was so nice- some long time friends, from my past life as an officer's wife in Germany, came for a visit and spent the night. It was so nice to visit with them and to share some funny memories. This morning I felt great and went into work and went into two different preschools. It felt SO good to be back to work. I really love what I do. It's a little hard, though, because I'm trying to avoid getting sick, so I'm not interacting with the kids much. Mostly I'm staying back and observing and writing notes. I like it so much better when I can get in the middle of kids' playing and try out different strategies. I know observing is valuable too, though. And actually, by the second preschool I was pretty tired and drained and happy to be able to just sit. I also had lunch in a cute little internet cafe in one of the little towns where I work and did some work on my laptop. I remembered going in for a CT scan at that place next to Starbucks and being so jealous of all the professional looking people stopping in for coffee, or working on their laptops while eating breakfast. Today in that cafe I felt like I was one of those professional people again. It was a good feeling and one that I savored.

On the drive back to the office, I started feeling really tired and drained. I have been having a bit of soreness in my mouth (a side effect of chemo) and I noticed it getting worse and my throat starting to hurt. Back at the office, it just got worse. On the drive home, I called my acupuncturist, who is also an herbalist, and asked for some advice. She said that the chemo is probably wiping out all the good bacteria in my mouth and she recommended putting powdered acidophalus on the sores. I stopped off and got some, along with a few other things, and am hoping that I'll be ok. At home I took it easy and as the evening has progressed, my throat is more and more sore and swollen feeling. My good feeling from earlier was gone and I took a long, hot bath and just relaxed. A friend came and picked Kaycee up for basket ball practice, so I had some time tonight to just relax. I hope I don't get sick- it's way too early in the game for that. I go in tomorrow for more blood work and I'll see what the nurses say.

I went out in public tonight in just a hat- a very nice, soft one. It is so much easier. I'm still wearing the wig tomorrow- it didn't hurt so much today.

Still feeling fearful about the next chemo. But, the girls are set for a sleep over so I am feeling relieved that I'll just have to worry about taking care of myself.

Time to get some sleep.

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