Down Time

2/24/09

It's been an interesting two days. Karina has been home sick, and I caught what she's got yesterday too. It's not as bad as some people have right now, but it's not fun either. It's a cold/cough/upset tummy thing. So she and I have been hanging out at home together, resting and watching movies. Part of it has been nice. It's fun to just hang out with her with nothing that we have to be doing. Part of it has been hard, though. This week was supposed to be my good week in between treatments. I have some fear around whether or not I'll be well enough to stay on schedule. It's so important to me that I stay on schedule because I want to finish sooner rather than later. I know full well that it is out of my hands, but I'm hoping to be ok anyway.

Karina has been working on some tough, long homework assignments and I've been helping her. It's SO NICE to have the time to help her. And, I've realized these past few days why I can't be super mom. It's impossible to work full time and still have the time that she needs for homework help when she gets these long assignments. I am envious right now of the parents that get to pick their kids up from school, have some free, fun, play time, then have the time to help them with their homework, all before dinner. One of my quality of life dreams is to be able to work less hours so I can do that for them for a few years. I need to put it up on my vision board.

I am missing my energy level right now. I am missing playing soccer right now. It's been FOUR MONTHS of taking it easy, and I'm so ready to be done! It's hard not to get frustrated at times. I am hanging on to my gratitude, though. I'm SO GLAD I went into this healthy and strong. Just like I've got a spare 20 pounds that I could lose, I also came into this with spare strength and wellness that I can lose and still be ok.

I have a blood draw tomorrow. I'm hoping on either high enough counts, or a super shot if I need it to beat this sickness!