Chemo for Christmas

12/19/08

Ok, it's official. I really am getting chemo for Christmas. My first treatment is at 10:45 Dec 24. They are sending me home with the $10,000.00 shot to give to myself on Christmas day. Well, I told them NO WAY could I give it to myself, so D (my friend the nurse) agreed to come over and give it to me. I could have delayed it to the next week, but not after the talk Dr. T gave me last time. I'm glad I've got family here to orchestrate Christmas, and maybe it will be nice to have the girls distracted by presents so I can rest if I need to. Of course I haven't actually gotten them any presents yet. Between the snow, the appointments, and the fatigue, I haven't gotten into the Christmas shopping spirit yet. I do believe that every Christmas after this one will be so good for me and I believe that I will always be grateful in the future that I'm not getting chemo for Christmas.

I was in Dr. T's office for 2 1/2 hours today getting more chemo information. I am astounded at the amount of drugs that are going to be pumped into my body. Two chemo drugs, plus a whole bunch more to prevent allergic reactions and nausea. I will get a whole bunch of drugs to take home with me too to take before and after for a variety of reasons. The good thing about all these drugs is that they are designed to ease the effects of chemo on me. Mrs. T. told me today that I should NOT be puking at all from the chemo. If I do start puking, I first take one drug, then if that doesn't work, I go on to another one (the second one is something like $75.00 a pill), then go on to a third one if needed from there. I got my schedule of when I'll be going in. Every other Wednesday for chemo, the next day for the miracle shot, and a few other times throughout the weeks for various other reasons. I also got the talk from the business office about my cost per month for the treatment- $370.00- enough for a nice car payment. Luckily I will just pay this amount up to my insurance's cap, which I will hit within the first three months. I got a bill today from the doctor's office for the last surgery. I am amazed at the cost of medical care. I spent so long in the military system, where I never received a bill for anything. I really had no concept of how expensive medical care is. I found it interesting that each procedure was broken down- $3,000 for the port-a-cath, $900 for the lumpectomy, part II, $1700 for the removal of the lymph nodes, and on and on. Weird, weird, weird.

After the appointment, I had an awesome lunch at Laughing Planet with my mom and brother. Then went to a wig shop nearby. I was in a much better mood today. I didn't find anything I liked. They were all so poofy and wig-like. We went across the street to Sweet Life afterwards and I got my cake and tea- delicious and I savored every bite! I went to one more wig shop and sort of liked a real hair one, but it was the wrong color and the wrong style. Finally, I decided to go back to the original shop that I had had such a bad experience in a few days ago. This time the owner was there and she was very kind and helpful. She found a wig for me that she said would be perfect once she ordered it in my color and cut it into my style. I can't quite picture it, but I trust her (no other choice- no more wig shops in town to try). I'm waiting till after Christmas, next week, to have my head shaved and do the wig thing. One trauma at a time.

I also set up an appointment with an acupuncturist for right before the chemo. Mrs. T highly recommends acupuncture before each treatment to help with my immune system and my appetite. I'm willing to do anything I can to hopefully feel ok during the next 4 months. I've got it all marked out on my calendar, and as long as I don't have to delay any treatments, I should have my hair just starting to grow in by my 40th birthday in June. Hair for my birthday- yeah!

Trouble sleeping tonight. So much weighing so heavily on my mind. I've got to find a way back to my positive, upbeat place where I believe the universe will give me whatever I can imagine. Maybe tomorrow. No appointments tomorrow, hopefully just Christmas shopping and fun!