A Better Day

3/30/09

Today was a much better day. I woke up feeling just as fatigued and worn out as yesterday, but I got up anyway. I had agreed a few weeks ago to speak this morning at an alanon meeting, and I didn't want to miss it. The topic was the 4th step, and it's an important one for me right now. It's the step where I take an inventory of the strengths and weaknesses of my character. As I was speaking at the meeting, I realized that I've learned so much about myself over the past 4 months. As much as the cancer experience has sucked, it's also been a rich learning experience for me. After the meeting, I felt pretty good and had some energy. The girls and I ended up having a nice end of spring break day.

I've been trying to come up with some way to celebrate my last chemo on Wednesday. Nothing seemed quite right until D suggested writing things on rocks and tossing them into the river. We came up with the idea to write out all of the crappy stuff from the cancer over the past 4 months- one per rock. We went to Mt. Pisgah today and I picked up a rock for each crappy thing. I was surprised at how many rocks I got, and at how much stuff I will get to let go of on Wednesday. My plan is to take the rocks to chemo and write on them, then afterwards go to the bridge at Alton Baker park and toss them in. In a weird way, I'm kind of excited about Wednesday!