I started back to a more normal work schedule last week. When I started chemo, I was able to change my work duties a bit so that instead of doing home visits with kids and families, I was doing phone screenings. This was to protect my immune system as much as possible and so that I didn't have to do so much driving while on medication that causes drowsiness. Last week, I started transitioning back into doing home visits again. I found myself driving to a home visit today, eating a veggie burger from Burger King in the car on the way. It struck me that this was my old life style- race as fast as possible through the day, eating in the car to save time. I really, really don't want to start doing that again. I haven't been as careful about what I've been eating lately- too tired and too busy with work to plan meals. On a positive note, I was able to cook a meal this past week, rather than just heating up Trader Joe's ready meals.
In spite of work being busy, it feels really, really good to be doing home visits again. I really love working directly with little kids and parents, on the floor, with the toys and the slobber and the snot and even the family dog. It's crazy, but fun. Even though I'm so tired, it feels really good to be doing work that I love and that I'm good at. And, it's totally absorbing- for the hour that I'm at a home visit, I have an hour that I don't think about cancer.
Today was one of those Mondays where I woke up and didn't want to get out of bed. My legs ached and I woke exhausted. As the day progressed, though, I felt better and now that it's the end of the day, I find that I'm not as achy and tired as I was last week. The best news of all is that I've had two night's sleep with NO sleeping pills! I take my herbs and my opium and it seems to be helping- I've been able to fall asleep within an hour. I wake up a lot, and I am having lots of weird, vivid dreams, but they're not nightmares. I'm confident that my body will readjust and pretty soon I'll be a normal sleeper again.
My surgery is coming up this week and I'm focusing on the positive- the port-a-cath is coming out! I haven't much idea of what it'll feel like to have no ovaries. I know my estrogen level will go way down and the naturopath says that my body could respond in a variety of ways, from little changes to lots of changes. I've been talking to different women about menopause and I'm not too freaked out about it at this point. I feel like I'm surrounded by enough wise women that there will be help with any discomfort menopause brings my way.
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