1/18/09
A much better day today. I got to hike up to the swing at Mt. Pisgah with the girls and D. This is the longest I've walked since before all the surgeries. It is also the first time the girls didn't need to be drug along- they walked ahead, and fast, and I did my best to keep up with them. I could really feel how out of shape my muscles were. But, it was such a beautiful, crisp, sunny day that it didn't get to me too much. Mostly I was just so thankful to be out and walking and not feeling sick. I came home and rested for a bit, had a bath, then went to my soccer game. I was so tired, but it was really important to me that I go. I wore the buff to the game- there's no way I could play in that wig. I was nervous about walking in and nervous about comments and questions. But it turned out to be just fine. Just a few comments, then the focus was on the game. We played a team that was a lot better than us, and they were a bit aggressive, so I just took it easy. Again, I was so thankful to be there playing that I didn't care too much about how the game was going. I have lost my assertivenes as I'm so afraid someone will knock into me and hurt me. Mostly I'm worried about the port- it hurts when I stretch that arm too much or move in a certain way. My other arm, I'm happy to say, is WAY better! I didn't think about it at all during the game except once when I moved it at an awkward angle. I tried to go to an alanon meeting after the game, but I was falling asleep during it, so I just headed home and had a second bath and am resting now. I am SO tired. I'm hoping I can get another good night's sleep like last night.
I'm feeling better today about the next chemo. I've got a plan in place for myself and for the girls, and I think it will be so much better knowing that we are all being taken care of. Part of my stress last time is that I thought that I could get some errands done the day after chemo, so I was driving around too much and feeling really rotten. What was I thinking?! This time, I'm not making any plans to do anything other than watch movies at home and go to acupuncture. Oh, and I have to go back to the office and get the shot the next day. I think I just need to take the pressure off of myself to try to do too much.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
My "Doll"
1/17/09
Whew, I am finally calmed down and feeling better. Wonder if it was the adivan? Or just that I finally took some time to cry and to call a friend and to talk. I don't know, but the worst is past and I'm exhausted and hoping to try to sleep.
Had to write about funny Kaycee. Last week I came home from my mind/body class and walked into my bathroom and saw a head sitting on my bathroom counter. It gave me quite a start. It was my plain white wig head, but Kaycee had gotten ahold of it and colored it in so that the whole head is now sort of skin colored, and she has eyes. The eyes are scary and freaky- the POP out of the head. Tonight I was trying to have my emotions when she called out to me, "Mama, I combed your doll's hair and fixed her mouth!" I went into the bathroom and she used my lipstick to color the mouth, and she had wet the wig down and combed it. She was quite proud of herself and I was wondering if there is not anything off limits to her. I was really annoyed, but then I could see that it was her way of trying to cheer me up. The hair is now all flat with very straight bangs. I guess it was too fluffy anyway. Really it's kind of funny- it does look like a doll. I used to have one of those Barbie heads when I was a kid that you could put make up on and do up the hair. That's what Kaycee has created for me.
Time to sleep.
Whew, I am finally calmed down and feeling better. Wonder if it was the adivan? Or just that I finally took some time to cry and to call a friend and to talk. I don't know, but the worst is past and I'm exhausted and hoping to try to sleep.
Had to write about funny Kaycee. Last week I came home from my mind/body class and walked into my bathroom and saw a head sitting on my bathroom counter. It gave me quite a start. It was my plain white wig head, but Kaycee had gotten ahold of it and colored it in so that the whole head is now sort of skin colored, and she has eyes. The eyes are scary and freaky- the POP out of the head. Tonight I was trying to have my emotions when she called out to me, "Mama, I combed your doll's hair and fixed her mouth!" I went into the bathroom and she used my lipstick to color the mouth, and she had wet the wig down and combed it. She was quite proud of herself and I was wondering if there is not anything off limits to her. I was really annoyed, but then I could see that it was her way of trying to cheer me up. The hair is now all flat with very straight bangs. I guess it was too fluffy anyway. Really it's kind of funny- it does look like a doll. I used to have one of those Barbie heads when I was a kid that you could put make up on and do up the hair. That's what Kaycee has created for me.
Time to sleep.
Random Stuff
Saturday, Jan something 09
I'm sitting here in bed looking at all the pictures on my walls. When I was at my first chemo appointment, the girls worked almost 3 hours on making pictures and putting them up all over my room. Their goal is to cover every inch of my walls, and they came close! They are bright, cheerful, I love you pictures. People often ask me how the girls are doing with all this. I am so surprised, but they are doing quite well. I believe it is all the love and support we are all getting- I think they are bathed in love so they don't have much room to feel bad. They have both matured quite a bit, and become more flexible and are even getting along better with each other (although not at the moment- they are fighting over chores). It has been a huge relief to me to see them doing so well.
As for me, yesterday was a good day. It turns out I wasn't sick, just having side effects of the chemo. Apparently the chemo can kill healthy cells in my mouth and throat, and allow unhealthy bacteria to grow. The acedophalus worked in a few hours, so I'll stick with that. My white blood cells were within normal range, but still low enough that I needed yet another shot. I may have written this already. My mind gets jumbled more and more these days.
Today has not been so great. I don't know what's going on with me today. I did not sleep much last night, so I woke up tired. I started off doing well, but I wasn't very hungry. As the day progressed, I got more and more worn down feeling and my stomach started to hurt so I haven't been able to eat much. Today was the first day I wore the buff out in public (other than two other very brief times). I was so self-conscious and it just got harder as the day went on. I am very much aware that other people don't really think too much about it- I didn't get any comments or looks from strangers. It was just in my head all day long that I must look like I have cancer and like I'm sick. I went to the pool and didn't really realize until I was there how hard it would be for me getting dressed and undressed in the locker room. I decided to keep the buff on the entire time, even in the pool. I guess I need to get a swimming cap. I saw a woman I went to college with years ago and knew, but not well. There was no recognition on her face when she looked at me, and I didn't bother to say hi. I was afraid of having to explain my head to her. It was a relief and a sadness to feel invisible. My emotions have been right on the surface all day, and I've been crying on and off all day. I think a combination of being tired, having an upset stomach, and still getting used to being bald is all contributing. Plus I'm having a lot of anxiety about chemo next week. I'm frustrated with myself, because I just wanted to live in the present today and enjoy a beautiful, sunny Saturday. I did go through the motions. Karina and I went on a bike ride and it was nice and fun and reminded me of summer. I was quite tired, though, after just a few miles. I know it's to be expected. I'm just still having a hard time letting go and taking it easy.
I am happy to say that 2 1/2 months have passed since this all started. Yeah!! I've gotten through 2 1/2 months! No wonder I'm tired, though. That's a long time to have almost constant anxiety and stress.
I ended up taking 1/4 of an ativan to help with the nausea and with my anxiety. I really HATE taking medication, and part of my letting go will be to learn to accept that it's ok for me to take medication while I have cancer. It's a normal thing to do, and that's what the medication is intended for. And, I won't have to do this forever. I won't have to do this forever. I won't have to do this forever.
I had to laugh the other day. I was talking to an older relative on the phone, and one of her pieces of advice for me was for me to "suck it up". She actually used those words. There is this pressure to be tough and to tough this out. I am conflicted. I know this is no place for wimps and that I do need to be strong. But, I want to be able to keep having and expressing my emotions. I am a strong person, and this is very HARD and there are many times when I just want to be taken care of and babied and nurtured. I'm learning to ask for this and to receive it and I think I'm tough enough already and perhaps I need to SOFTEN up enough to continue accepting nurturing and help from people.
Ok, here's my call for help. I've been enjoying watching romantic comedies when I get really down and I've gone through all the ones I have. If anyone has any good movies to loan me (must be lighthearted, sweet, funny, romantic), I'd sure appreciate it!
I'm sitting here in bed looking at all the pictures on my walls. When I was at my first chemo appointment, the girls worked almost 3 hours on making pictures and putting them up all over my room. Their goal is to cover every inch of my walls, and they came close! They are bright, cheerful, I love you pictures. People often ask me how the girls are doing with all this. I am so surprised, but they are doing quite well. I believe it is all the love and support we are all getting- I think they are bathed in love so they don't have much room to feel bad. They have both matured quite a bit, and become more flexible and are even getting along better with each other (although not at the moment- they are fighting over chores). It has been a huge relief to me to see them doing so well.
As for me, yesterday was a good day. It turns out I wasn't sick, just having side effects of the chemo. Apparently the chemo can kill healthy cells in my mouth and throat, and allow unhealthy bacteria to grow. The acedophalus worked in a few hours, so I'll stick with that. My white blood cells were within normal range, but still low enough that I needed yet another shot. I may have written this already. My mind gets jumbled more and more these days.
Today has not been so great. I don't know what's going on with me today. I did not sleep much last night, so I woke up tired. I started off doing well, but I wasn't very hungry. As the day progressed, I got more and more worn down feeling and my stomach started to hurt so I haven't been able to eat much. Today was the first day I wore the buff out in public (other than two other very brief times). I was so self-conscious and it just got harder as the day went on. I am very much aware that other people don't really think too much about it- I didn't get any comments or looks from strangers. It was just in my head all day long that I must look like I have cancer and like I'm sick. I went to the pool and didn't really realize until I was there how hard it would be for me getting dressed and undressed in the locker room. I decided to keep the buff on the entire time, even in the pool. I guess I need to get a swimming cap. I saw a woman I went to college with years ago and knew, but not well. There was no recognition on her face when she looked at me, and I didn't bother to say hi. I was afraid of having to explain my head to her. It was a relief and a sadness to feel invisible. My emotions have been right on the surface all day, and I've been crying on and off all day. I think a combination of being tired, having an upset stomach, and still getting used to being bald is all contributing. Plus I'm having a lot of anxiety about chemo next week. I'm frustrated with myself, because I just wanted to live in the present today and enjoy a beautiful, sunny Saturday. I did go through the motions. Karina and I went on a bike ride and it was nice and fun and reminded me of summer. I was quite tired, though, after just a few miles. I know it's to be expected. I'm just still having a hard time letting go and taking it easy.
I am happy to say that 2 1/2 months have passed since this all started. Yeah!! I've gotten through 2 1/2 months! No wonder I'm tired, though. That's a long time to have almost constant anxiety and stress.
I ended up taking 1/4 of an ativan to help with the nausea and with my anxiety. I really HATE taking medication, and part of my letting go will be to learn to accept that it's ok for me to take medication while I have cancer. It's a normal thing to do, and that's what the medication is intended for. And, I won't have to do this forever. I won't have to do this forever. I won't have to do this forever.
I had to laugh the other day. I was talking to an older relative on the phone, and one of her pieces of advice for me was for me to "suck it up". She actually used those words. There is this pressure to be tough and to tough this out. I am conflicted. I know this is no place for wimps and that I do need to be strong. But, I want to be able to keep having and expressing my emotions. I am a strong person, and this is very HARD and there are many times when I just want to be taken care of and babied and nurtured. I'm learning to ask for this and to receive it and I think I'm tough enough already and perhaps I need to SOFTEN up enough to continue accepting nurturing and help from people.
Ok, here's my call for help. I've been enjoying watching romantic comedies when I get really down and I've gone through all the ones I have. If anyone has any good movies to loan me (must be lighthearted, sweet, funny, romantic), I'd sure appreciate it!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Up and Down and Sick?
1/15/09
Another emotional up and down day. Last night was so nice- some long time friends, from my past life as an officer's wife in Germany, came for a visit and spent the night. It was so nice to visit with them and to share some funny memories. This morning I felt great and went into work and went into two different preschools. It felt SO good to be back to work. I really love what I do. It's a little hard, though, because I'm trying to avoid getting sick, so I'm not interacting with the kids much. Mostly I'm staying back and observing and writing notes. I like it so much better when I can get in the middle of kids' playing and try out different strategies. I know observing is valuable too, though. And actually, by the second preschool I was pretty tired and drained and happy to be able to just sit. I also had lunch in a cute little internet cafe in one of the little towns where I work and did some work on my laptop. I remembered going in for a CT scan at that place next to Starbucks and being so jealous of all the professional looking people stopping in for coffee, or working on their laptops while eating breakfast. Today in that cafe I felt like I was one of those professional people again. It was a good feeling and one that I savored.
On the drive back to the office, I started feeling really tired and drained. I have been having a bit of soreness in my mouth (a side effect of chemo) and I noticed it getting worse and my throat starting to hurt. Back at the office, it just got worse. On the drive home, I called my acupuncturist, who is also an herbalist, and asked for some advice. She said that the chemo is probably wiping out all the good bacteria in my mouth and she recommended putting powdered acidophalus on the sores. I stopped off and got some, along with a few other things, and am hoping that I'll be ok. At home I took it easy and as the evening has progressed, my throat is more and more sore and swollen feeling. My good feeling from earlier was gone and I took a long, hot bath and just relaxed. A friend came and picked Kaycee up for basket ball practice, so I had some time tonight to just relax. I hope I don't get sick- it's way too early in the game for that. I go in tomorrow for more blood work and I'll see what the nurses say.
I went out in public tonight in just a hat- a very nice, soft one. It is so much easier. I'm still wearing the wig tomorrow- it didn't hurt so much today.
Still feeling fearful about the next chemo. But, the girls are set for a sleep over so I am feeling relieved that I'll just have to worry about taking care of myself.
Time to get some sleep.
Another emotional up and down day. Last night was so nice- some long time friends, from my past life as an officer's wife in Germany, came for a visit and spent the night. It was so nice to visit with them and to share some funny memories. This morning I felt great and went into work and went into two different preschools. It felt SO good to be back to work. I really love what I do. It's a little hard, though, because I'm trying to avoid getting sick, so I'm not interacting with the kids much. Mostly I'm staying back and observing and writing notes. I like it so much better when I can get in the middle of kids' playing and try out different strategies. I know observing is valuable too, though. And actually, by the second preschool I was pretty tired and drained and happy to be able to just sit. I also had lunch in a cute little internet cafe in one of the little towns where I work and did some work on my laptop. I remembered going in for a CT scan at that place next to Starbucks and being so jealous of all the professional looking people stopping in for coffee, or working on their laptops while eating breakfast. Today in that cafe I felt like I was one of those professional people again. It was a good feeling and one that I savored.
On the drive back to the office, I started feeling really tired and drained. I have been having a bit of soreness in my mouth (a side effect of chemo) and I noticed it getting worse and my throat starting to hurt. Back at the office, it just got worse. On the drive home, I called my acupuncturist, who is also an herbalist, and asked for some advice. She said that the chemo is probably wiping out all the good bacteria in my mouth and she recommended putting powdered acidophalus on the sores. I stopped off and got some, along with a few other things, and am hoping that I'll be ok. At home I took it easy and as the evening has progressed, my throat is more and more sore and swollen feeling. My good feeling from earlier was gone and I took a long, hot bath and just relaxed. A friend came and picked Kaycee up for basket ball practice, so I had some time tonight to just relax. I hope I don't get sick- it's way too early in the game for that. I go in tomorrow for more blood work and I'll see what the nurses say.
I went out in public tonight in just a hat- a very nice, soft one. It is so much easier. I'm still wearing the wig tomorrow- it didn't hurt so much today.
Still feeling fearful about the next chemo. But, the girls are set for a sleep over so I am feeling relieved that I'll just have to worry about taking care of myself.
Time to get some sleep.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
The Blood Race
1/14/09
I went in today for what should have been a 10 minute blood draw. It turned into almost two hours. My white cells were low. Not terribly low, but low enough that I needed to get another damn shot today. I was in a pretty good mood, thinking I'd pop in for a quick visit on my off chemo week, then dash off to work as if all was normal. I just hit a wall today and started crying right before the shot. It was weird, one minute I was laughing and joking, the next I was crying right in front of all the staff and a few patients there. I have just had enough, and I'm frustrated because I'm at the beginning still. Nurse Rugby did the shot and he was very kind and gentle and it didn't really hurt much at all. I missed most of the morning at work and just felt so sad and tired today. I've got to go back in on Friday for another blood draw and possibly another shot. It's a race- the chemo wipes out the blood cells, and the shot races in to build them up again. No wonder my body is so tired. It's working to kill cancer, working to fight off chemo, working to re-build healthy cells. I'm having this close together, aggressive treatment because I'm young and healthy and Dr. T says my body can handle it. Now if I could just get my emotions to catch up! I ended up working some today, but hit another wall. I went home and rested on the couch for about half an hour and felt better. I saw my counselor today too and that always helps. She said I just really need to love myself and nurture myself right now. I have a lot of fear about the next round of chemo next week. I guess I've got some time to work through it.
So, the head shaving. My hair started coming out on Sunday, all over the cottage. I wore the wig Sunday afternoon, mostly in an attempt to contain all my loose hair so I could stop finding it all over the house. Monday morning it was all over my pillow. F and D both came over that night to help me shave it. F used clippers and they were loud and hot on my skin. I needed to stop right after we got started and get myself grounded and centered. I use my bathroom as my private prayer/meditation center, so I went in there and practiced one of the breathing techniques I learned in my mind/body class and prayed for God to hold me through the head shaving. I went back out and it was kind of fun and funny and we were rocking out to Billy Idol. I plugged up my ears and closed my eyes and pretty soon it was over. I was surprised at how much hair I still had left, and at how dark it was all over the floor. Both F and D said that my head was pretty and that it wasn't so bad. I looked in the mirror and I was very surprised. I could see my entire face clearly for the first time in my life. I had the feeling of "Oh, there I am". Then I looked at my head. I had no idea what my bare head would look like, and I was pleasantly surprised. It is just a smallish, round head with normal ears attached. The only bald women I've seen recently are elderly women in the doctor's office, and many of them are quite sick. I was afraid that I would look old, frail, and sick with a bald head. But, I think I still look like me. The big surprise was that when I rub my head, it is excruciatingly painful when I rub my hair against the grain. It feels like tiny cactus needles stabbing into my skull. Wearing the wig is painful. Even wearing a soft hat and laying against my pillow is painful whenever I move. I took a shower and washed it this morning, and it wasn't as bad. I think once the remaining hair (it's probably 1/16 of an inch long) comes out, it won't hurt so much.
Well, after my head was shaved, D grabbed the clippers and said she wanted a strip shaved off of her hair in my honor. I was horrified and tried to stop her, but was unable to. She ended up not stopping with the one strip, and instead shaved her entire head. I want to go on OFFICIAL record that I did not ask her to or put her up to it. She did it just to keep me company. We then tried on some hats, and I think she looks young and beautiful with her whole face showing.
After we were done, F had to leave and D and I stayed up way too late watching "Mama Mia". I love how beautiful the older women are in the movie- they are so confident and full of life. It was actually a fun evening. We mixed up our hair and put a little into two baggies and agreed to meet when we're in our 80's and throw the hair into the ocean and talk about how long ago this time right now is. I am reminded that this will be behind me one day, and it will lose it's intense power over me.
I wore the wig again today and I really, really don't like how it feels. I feel like I'm in disguise in it. It looks great, and I like how I look in it, but I don't want to be in disguise. Finally, after picking the girls up, I could stand it no longer so I took it off when I was stopped at a red light and I put on the buff. I've been wearing that all evening and it just feels so much better. In spite of it all, I'll be wearing the wig again tomorrow. I'm just not ready to go without it yet. Not sure what is going on there, but I am giving myself time and permission to move at my own pace with all of this.
I went in today for what should have been a 10 minute blood draw. It turned into almost two hours. My white cells were low. Not terribly low, but low enough that I needed to get another damn shot today. I was in a pretty good mood, thinking I'd pop in for a quick visit on my off chemo week, then dash off to work as if all was normal. I just hit a wall today and started crying right before the shot. It was weird, one minute I was laughing and joking, the next I was crying right in front of all the staff and a few patients there. I have just had enough, and I'm frustrated because I'm at the beginning still. Nurse Rugby did the shot and he was very kind and gentle and it didn't really hurt much at all. I missed most of the morning at work and just felt so sad and tired today. I've got to go back in on Friday for another blood draw and possibly another shot. It's a race- the chemo wipes out the blood cells, and the shot races in to build them up again. No wonder my body is so tired. It's working to kill cancer, working to fight off chemo, working to re-build healthy cells. I'm having this close together, aggressive treatment because I'm young and healthy and Dr. T says my body can handle it. Now if I could just get my emotions to catch up! I ended up working some today, but hit another wall. I went home and rested on the couch for about half an hour and felt better. I saw my counselor today too and that always helps. She said I just really need to love myself and nurture myself right now. I have a lot of fear about the next round of chemo next week. I guess I've got some time to work through it.
So, the head shaving. My hair started coming out on Sunday, all over the cottage. I wore the wig Sunday afternoon, mostly in an attempt to contain all my loose hair so I could stop finding it all over the house. Monday morning it was all over my pillow. F and D both came over that night to help me shave it. F used clippers and they were loud and hot on my skin. I needed to stop right after we got started and get myself grounded and centered. I use my bathroom as my private prayer/meditation center, so I went in there and practiced one of the breathing techniques I learned in my mind/body class and prayed for God to hold me through the head shaving. I went back out and it was kind of fun and funny and we were rocking out to Billy Idol. I plugged up my ears and closed my eyes and pretty soon it was over. I was surprised at how much hair I still had left, and at how dark it was all over the floor. Both F and D said that my head was pretty and that it wasn't so bad. I looked in the mirror and I was very surprised. I could see my entire face clearly for the first time in my life. I had the feeling of "Oh, there I am". Then I looked at my head. I had no idea what my bare head would look like, and I was pleasantly surprised. It is just a smallish, round head with normal ears attached. The only bald women I've seen recently are elderly women in the doctor's office, and many of them are quite sick. I was afraid that I would look old, frail, and sick with a bald head. But, I think I still look like me. The big surprise was that when I rub my head, it is excruciatingly painful when I rub my hair against the grain. It feels like tiny cactus needles stabbing into my skull. Wearing the wig is painful. Even wearing a soft hat and laying against my pillow is painful whenever I move. I took a shower and washed it this morning, and it wasn't as bad. I think once the remaining hair (it's probably 1/16 of an inch long) comes out, it won't hurt so much.
Well, after my head was shaved, D grabbed the clippers and said she wanted a strip shaved off of her hair in my honor. I was horrified and tried to stop her, but was unable to. She ended up not stopping with the one strip, and instead shaved her entire head. I want to go on OFFICIAL record that I did not ask her to or put her up to it. She did it just to keep me company. We then tried on some hats, and I think she looks young and beautiful with her whole face showing.
After we were done, F had to leave and D and I stayed up way too late watching "Mama Mia". I love how beautiful the older women are in the movie- they are so confident and full of life. It was actually a fun evening. We mixed up our hair and put a little into two baggies and agreed to meet when we're in our 80's and throw the hair into the ocean and talk about how long ago this time right now is. I am reminded that this will be behind me one day, and it will lose it's intense power over me.
I wore the wig again today and I really, really don't like how it feels. I feel like I'm in disguise in it. It looks great, and I like how I look in it, but I don't want to be in disguise. Finally, after picking the girls up, I could stand it no longer so I took it off when I was stopped at a red light and I put on the buff. I've been wearing that all evening and it just feels so much better. In spite of it all, I'll be wearing the wig again tomorrow. I'm just not ready to go without it yet. Not sure what is going on there, but I am giving myself time and permission to move at my own pace with all of this.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Dancing With Myself
1/14/09
Way too tired to write all I have to say. Back to work this week and it's nice to feel normal again, but exhausting. Rocked out to Billy Idol, "Dancing With Myself" last night while F shaved my head. Sweet, impulsive D shaved her head too. More on that later. After the tears on Sunday, I ended up laughing so much last night that I had to cross my legs several times. Never imagined it would be so funny. Got some great pictures. May get brave enough to post them sometime. Wore the wig two days in a row. Drove me crazy with discomfort today. Wore the buff (a cool head scarf thing like what they wear on Survivor) this evening and liked it. F says I have a pretty bald head. Gotta love cool boyfriends like that!
Blood draw tomorrow. Here's to HIGH ENOUGH white blood cells so NO shots this week! They ended up changing the plan from one the day after chemo to one each day for three days after chemo. YIKES!
Way too tired to write all I have to say. Back to work this week and it's nice to feel normal again, but exhausting. Rocked out to Billy Idol, "Dancing With Myself" last night while F shaved my head. Sweet, impulsive D shaved her head too. More on that later. After the tears on Sunday, I ended up laughing so much last night that I had to cross my legs several times. Never imagined it would be so funny. Got some great pictures. May get brave enough to post them sometime. Wore the wig two days in a row. Drove me crazy with discomfort today. Wore the buff (a cool head scarf thing like what they wear on Survivor) this evening and liked it. F says I have a pretty bald head. Gotta love cool boyfriends like that!
Blood draw tomorrow. Here's to HIGH ENOUGH white blood cells so NO shots this week! They ended up changing the plan from one the day after chemo to one each day for three days after chemo. YIKES!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
More Quotes
Here are the rest of the quotes from the art work in this cottage:
"We get so much in the habit of wearing disguises before others that we finally appear disguised before ourselves"
"She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went. 'It's easier to feel the sunlight without them', she said."
"She asked me when the season of joy was supposed to end and I said I didn't really think there was an exact date, so we left the tree up till June that year."
"Go into the garden and listen to the silences between the sounds. This is the real music of nature."
"Leaves break free from their trees like the turning of pages in all the world's libraries."
"These are little packets of light and you need to plant them early in the year and remember to mark where they were because lots of times they look like weeds in the beginning and it's not until later that you see how really beautiful they are."
"She seemed to move everywhere. Dancing and music followed her like leaves on the wind."
And the corrected quote from the last post: "Each moment outshines the one before. Whatever happens, this is the present. Make your home here."
"We get so much in the habit of wearing disguises before others that we finally appear disguised before ourselves"
"She left pieces of her life behind her everywhere she went. 'It's easier to feel the sunlight without them', she said."
"She asked me when the season of joy was supposed to end and I said I didn't really think there was an exact date, so we left the tree up till June that year."
"Go into the garden and listen to the silences between the sounds. This is the real music of nature."
"Leaves break free from their trees like the turning of pages in all the world's libraries."
"These are little packets of light and you need to plant them early in the year and remember to mark where they were because lots of times they look like weeds in the beginning and it's not until later that you see how really beautiful they are."
"She seemed to move everywhere. Dancing and music followed her like leaves on the wind."
And the corrected quote from the last post: "Each moment outshines the one before. Whatever happens, this is the present. Make your home here."
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