More Monday Madness

Nov 17 (I think?), 2008

Another relaxing weekend where I didn't have to think too much about my situation. Went into work this Monday all happy and relaxed. Started getting anxious about an hour before my dr. appt. Went in and got some good news, some bad news, and some wait and see news. The good news is the left breast biopsy came back NEGATIVE for cancer! This is a big, huge deal to me and when I'm done freaking out, I know I'll be very happy about this. The right breast I already knew from last week that it does have more spots. Today the doctor explained that the lumpectomy will be large and that it won't look pretty. The actual word he used, several times, was "deformed". What an ugly word. Then it got worse. He said that the MRI actually showed three spots and that those may be all, or there may be more that aren't showing up. I will find out about that a week after the surgery when the pathology report comes back. It would mean another surgery for a mastectomy. He also explained that since the original lump sent out satellite cancers, that there is a high probability that it will be in my lymph nodes and that I would need a second surgery to remove those, probably within two weeks of the first surgery. Not too thrilled about that, but again, I won't know until pathology comes back a week after tomorrow. He did say that chemotherapy is almost certain, and that would start within a few weeks of my last surgery, and go for about 6 months, possibly followed by radiation. It got worse from there, but I'm not ready to write about that yet. Well, when I say worse, I mean emotionally worse, not really too big of a deal medically I suppose.

For tomorrow, plans have changed a bit. I'm back at Oregon Imaging in the morning for a needle biopsy so that a wire can mark the outer edge of the cancer so the doc knows where to remove the piece. They are going to stick the wire in me, then put me in a limo (hey, I get to have another limo ride!) and send me over to the hospital. I thought that maybe "limo" was doctor slang for "ambulance", but the doctor assured me it would be a real limo. Kind of surreal and funny. My nuclear medicine thing will be at 12:45 and the actual surgery will be at 2:30.

I met another woman today who had breast cancer two years ago and she was very comforting. Many, many emotions today after the doctor's visit. Not sure how I'll be feeling tomorrow. I did get mostly good news about the rest of the original pathology reports- the markers were not alarming- this has to do with cell growth, aggressiveness, and some other things.

The girls and I have be receiving some wonderful meals already and we are deeply grateful for them. We feel nurtured and taken care of and I am so thankful for the amazing people that have been helping us out in so many different ways.